did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
