Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
