you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
