we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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