i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
