Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i out mim tonsoeep
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