My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
