just tell him i said nine months
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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