Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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