I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
