So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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