How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
