Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
