i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
