i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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