I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
