I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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