I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
