1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
