is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
