I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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