Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
