her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize