i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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