you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
