if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
