the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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