I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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