i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
