am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
