I think im going to throw up on grandma
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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