I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
