it hurts more in the daytime
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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