I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
