I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
one two three fourrrrnication!
he was CRYING into my vagina
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
