Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
