Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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