I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
