Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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