are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Oh god it's open bar.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
