Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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