Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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