remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My life is pants optional.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
