I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
