Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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