I CAN MOONWALK!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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