I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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