1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
