So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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