? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
