now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
