i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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