i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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