It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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