Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
