i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
