I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
