I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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