Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
