So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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