Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid