Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
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I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
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he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.