I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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