So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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