no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
