i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
